The Fence is Complete

All that was left to complete the backyard fence at the beginning of the weekend was to build the gate. That seemed easy enough, although my gate is 11 feet wide, and it is actually 2 gates in one. It is made so the entire 11 foot length can swing open, or, a smaller 3 foot section can more easily be opened and closed for quick access. I didn't think it would take too long to build, but by 7:00 on Sunday night, I realized I was WRONG!

Try spending 12 hours over the course of a weekend in this position and see how your legs feel on Monday!



I built the large portion of the gate (seen above) on Saturday. I spend a lot of time calculating and analyzing because, well quite frankly I do paperwork for a living, so I'm rather green when it comes to construction. I felt like some guy in the middle ages trying to figure out how to build the first backyard fence gate. On Sunday I needed to go to the store to buy more gate parts. I needed more screws to finish, so I started browsing the Screw Isle. After noticing there were more kinds of screws than colors of red in my new redwood fence, I decided I should actually read the boxes to see what kind of screws I should be using (that was a mistake). I discovered to my delight that there are screws that should be used for drywall - "not to be used where rust would be undesirable". Then there are screws that you would use out-of-doors on things like a deck, or YOUR NICE NEW FENCE GATE YOU BIG MORON! Why did I use all those drywall screws on my gate? I don't know, but I was at least smart (anal) enough to know that I should get these deck screws and simply replace the drywall screws in the part of the gate I built on Saturday; "that won't be too hard, right?" was what I thought. So when I got home, I simply started removing the screws from the pickets and replacing them with deck screws. Oh, and then there were the screws in the brackets, oh and the screws in the rails, and the screws underneath the hinges, and HOW MANY SCREWY SCREWS DID I PUT IN THIS THING! So after about 2 hours I had build the large portion of the gate - for the second time!

So, now all that's left is to build the small gate - that should be easy, because it's a lot smaller! But wait, I have to do a lot more analysis, because I wouldn't want to put in a screw, and then have to take it out later because I put it in, in the wrong order! As I'm happily putting screws in using my trusty old Black & Decker drill, I smell a touch of that burning electronics smell that's generally not something you want to be smelling. That brought back the memory of the day my wife gave me that drill 18 years ago. I thought, "boy, this old drill just keeps on going, just like the Energizer Bunny®. I ought to call Black & Decker and give them a glowing customer testimonial about how great their drills are!" Well, it wasn't ten minutes later that, all at once, a large puff of smoke emerged from the casing of the drill, and it promptly stopped 'drilling'. Oh great! Forget it Black & Decker, I'm not calling you now, this piece of junk just burned up, and I've only been using it for every drilling job for the last 18 years! Just kidding, that poor old drill should have died years ago. I certainly got my $39.95 worth out of it, so I gave the drill a proper burial - that's right, I quickly tossed it in the recycle bin and jumped in the truck to head to Home Depot - wooooo whoooooo - I get to buy a new drill! Unfortunately the first Home Depot I went to was all out of the drill that was just right for me, so I had to drive to another Home Depot, and luckily, they had it in stock. No wonder it took so long to build this gate! Just a few more touches and the gate will be 100% done. Then I can move onto cleaning up the dirt and flowerbeds around the rest of the new backyard fence.

And here's the gate, in all it's over-analyzed glory!